Mark 1, Dad 0
So there I was! Surrounded by fluffy blankets, diapers, and baby wipes. Having just heard a loud noise come from the direction of my son's rear end, I decided that the best course of action was a frontal assult.
As I approached the changing table with my son in my arms, my sweetie called from her hospital bed, "Do you want me to help?"
Calmly looking over my shoulder I said, "Nah, I got this one." After all, I just saw this done yesterday, I can do it!
I lay little Mark on the table and prepared to launch my attack. Quickly, I opened the diaper and was met with a sight I will never forget. I was shocked and awed. I stood still for a moment wondering if it had seen me.
"Umm..." I said decisively.
I looked right and left, searching for reinforcements, but none were to be had. Things went from bad to worse as I was reminded of the tactic that little Mark had used against the doctors shortly after arriving into the world. I reached out to grab something, anything that I could use to deflect any potential urine attacks. Just as the situation was looking desperate and I was preparing to call for an evac, the door opened and my rescuer arrived.
"Help," I cried meekly while holding my son's legs so as not to dip his bum back in the tar-ish goo from whence it came.
With bold and confident motions my rescuer worked quickly, calling in baby-wipe support and continuing the attack that I had fumbled, no doubt saving my son's bum from continuing yuckification. I watched with amazed curiosity hoping to learn enought so that I too can one day be able to change a poopy diaper.
...
Yeah, so, newborn poo is nothing like what I had expected. It looks a lot like tar. I was stunned. If my wife's friend hadn't walked in at that exact moment I would have been in serious trouble. I'll head back tomorrow for round two and see how it goes.
If cruise missiles and smart bombs are half as effective at shocking and aweing people as this was they're well worth the investment!
And now, BABY PICTURES!!!
(Mark on said changing table)
(Mark from the left)
(from the right)
This is my son.
As I approached the changing table with my son in my arms, my sweetie called from her hospital bed, "Do you want me to help?"
Calmly looking over my shoulder I said, "Nah, I got this one." After all, I just saw this done yesterday, I can do it!
I lay little Mark on the table and prepared to launch my attack. Quickly, I opened the diaper and was met with a sight I will never forget. I was shocked and awed. I stood still for a moment wondering if it had seen me.
"Umm..." I said decisively.
I looked right and left, searching for reinforcements, but none were to be had. Things went from bad to worse as I was reminded of the tactic that little Mark had used against the doctors shortly after arriving into the world. I reached out to grab something, anything that I could use to deflect any potential urine attacks. Just as the situation was looking desperate and I was preparing to call for an evac, the door opened and my rescuer arrived.
"Help," I cried meekly while holding my son's legs so as not to dip his bum back in the tar-ish goo from whence it came.
With bold and confident motions my rescuer worked quickly, calling in baby-wipe support and continuing the attack that I had fumbled, no doubt saving my son's bum from continuing yuckification. I watched with amazed curiosity hoping to learn enought so that I too can one day be able to change a poopy diaper.
...
Yeah, so, newborn poo is nothing like what I had expected. It looks a lot like tar. I was stunned. If my wife's friend hadn't walked in at that exact moment I would have been in serious trouble. I'll head back tomorrow for round two and see how it goes.
If cruise missiles and smart bombs are half as effective at shocking and aweing people as this was they're well worth the investment!
And now, BABY PICTURES!!!
(Mark on said changing table)
(Mark from the left)
(from the right)
This is my son.
posted by MarksMomma at 01:29
BANDIT.THREE.SIX
THE LIZ
THE WIZ
16 Comments:
hehehehehe,great way of telling
a story!!!!!!!!
never heard one like it before:)
cute baby!!!!!
thanks for the pictures too!
andrea/summer pj's
Yay for baby... I got to announce from the stage yesterday that I as of that morning I was finally an uncle. Thanks for the pictures. Love you guys,
From the pictures I gather that he inherited his fathers longer fingers, indicating to me that someday he will be a great............ ............... .............. Guitar player :)
Congratulations.
Not only are the good guys winning the war against the bad guys, the good guys are multiplying!
chuckling: I remember!!!!
Gee, Ben. I astonished. You and Robert NEVER did that. Or does my memory betray me. :) Wonderful Katie. Wonderful Ben. Wonderful Mark. God bless you. Dad
Dude, CONGRATZ Bro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hopefully, the next mission like this wont require NBC gear.
Now that was one cute story and one beautiful baby too!!!
Congrats...
AubreyJ.........
Congrats! The poop gets better I promise! (if better is the right word anyway...) But it only gets better from here, I am so happy for you!
Regardless of what angle one views your new son, he is an incredibly beautiful addition to the human race and Daddy, you have every right to be bursting at the seams with pride.
Congratulations for being out front on the diaper detail. Tip: keep an extra diaper over your shoulder for those unexpected moments!
And now you know who is in control of the household!!
He is adorable.
Great post! Gorgeous baby! Congratulations!
Came here from Desert Odyssey.
Thank you for your service.
He's beautiful.
Congratulations Daddy.
He's beautiful.
Congratulations Daddy.
Congrats to the two of you!!!!
The pics of your baby boy, Mark are sooo sweet.
Gorgeous baby! Congratulations to ALL of you, including the "older" relatives! What a time you're all in for. Love the diaper story.
Post a Comment
<< Home